Return Unharmed and Alive
by dyslexic-Carmie
Summary: The Suicide Squad is back with the mission of returning Harley Quinn. This is what happens when Boomerang abandons the mission and Katana is asked to him back unharmed and alive.


When she found Boomerang he was sitting on a dock of a nearby lake. He laughed and held up his can when he saw him. _Where does he even get those?_ She thought to herself surprised by the beer.

"G'Day Katana! It's nice to see that they sent the pretty one to come find me!" He laughed and took a swig from his drink. "I was expected Flag's ugly face. It's nice to see that I was wrong…. Hey don't look at me like I've got a gutful of piss this is literally my first drink." He took another swig.

She glared at him. "I've been instructed to return you."

"I don't want to go back to that stupid motel. Croc took up the whole bathroom and Floyd snores weird." He threw a rock into the lake. "You're lucky that Flag gave you your own room."

"You have to return with me."

"Why?"

"You're not permitted to abandon the mission."

"Why?"

She didn't say anything and just glared at him.

"It's all stupid. The stupid cunt leaves with her boyfriend and then we have to road trip to Gotham to return the princess." He took more of his drink. "If it were up to me we would just forget about her and run away from all of this."

She moved her hand to her sword. "You have to return with me."

"Yeah… well what if I don't?"

She said nothing.

"Just what if I don't? Are you going to slice me up or what?"

She said nothing and moved her hand away from her sword.

He laughed. "So, Flag has instructed to bring me back alive and unharmed?"

 _Fuck._ He figured out her orders. Returning him was going to now be impossible. "You have to return with me."

"Yeah… cut that crap, luv. We both know that you would have cut me to ribbons by now if you were allowed. You can't touch me. I'm staying here. Tell Flag that he can come get me himself."

She sighed. She had failed. She couldn't use her blade to make him follow if he knew that she wasn't permitted to use it. She turned around to head back.

"Wait, luv, don't go."

She turned back around.

"I promise if I just get a little kiss…. it doesn't even have to be a big one… I'll go back with you willingly."

 _What?_ She just started at him like he just sprung an extra head.

"You don't have to return a failure. I know like honor and stuff like that are a big deal were you come from. I'll keep quiet about the little kiss too. It'll just be mine and your little bitty secret."

"No." She couldn't. Her husband.

"Yeah, I didn't think you'd go for it. Okay, fine return a failure. Go back and beg Flag for his help to bring me back or for permission to cut me up. I don't really care. I just might not be were you left me." He took another swig from his beer. "Go get on your merry way, luv."

She had to restraint herself from grabbing her sword.

"Just think one little kiss and you don't fail."

She glared at him and tried to think of a way to return him without harming him. She couldn't carry him. Her only way to get him back would be to get him to fear for his life, and he figured out that she was instructed not to harm him. _I could just kiss him and be done with it._

"Ha, you're thinking about it now. If you weren't you would have left already." He finished his beer and threw it into the lake. "It'll just be one teenie weenie kiss and you won't be a failure. Don't tell me that you're not thinking about it."

"No." _Would he taste of beer?_ No. She shouldn't let him get to her. She has a husband and honor.

"English and lying are truly not your first language." He laughed and stood up from the dock and dusted himself off. "I guess I've messed with you enough. I'll return with you now."

She didn't say anything and looked confused. Could he be planning something? One second he states that he's not returning and the next he willingly decides to.

"I said that I'd return with you. Aren't you going to escort me, luv?" He moved closer to her. "You're not pissed are you?"

"Uh…" She stuttered. She wasn't comfortable with him being that close to her without a weapon against his throat.

"You don't look pissed." He cupped her face.

It happened faster than she could register. _He does taste of beer._

He pulled away and smiled. "Well that was bigger than teenie weenie. I promise that I wouldn't tell. Let's head back to motel hell."

 **A/N**

 **I literally wrote this for more Kaboom.**

 **I've had multiple years of dyslexia so spelling might be wrong and stuff. If you see any grammar or spelling mistakes please let me know so that I can correct it.  
**


End file.
